he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize