He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
