My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize