it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
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Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
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The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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