Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
smell my finger.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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