...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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