Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
