watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
