I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
