check it out our google latitudes are spooning
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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