It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
