She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I smell like Dick and happiness
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
