Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
