OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A+ Viking dick
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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