I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
