I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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