Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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