The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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