Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize