I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
