Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
