I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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