At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
