dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
