I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
