I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
