i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
