Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We left the knife in your bed.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
