Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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