how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who died my cat blue again?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize