we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think your dad took our porno
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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