I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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