It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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