Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
