Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
