honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
