if you like me you must not know who I am
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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