I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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