i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
