I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Success! We fucked roommates!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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