sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
