I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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