Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize