take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
