Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
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you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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