Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The air was thick with penises
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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