I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
