It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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