gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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