I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
