shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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