I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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