it wasn't lemon gatorade
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
soo... how was my night?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
