No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Terrible idea I love it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
