I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
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Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Congratulations! We have a period
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