what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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