ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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