suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
