Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
