She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
