I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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