But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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