problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
