I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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