She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
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Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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