do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
