If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
