Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
