He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
